he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Never joke about your clitoris.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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