is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
