you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
