hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
