Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
