you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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