I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
