Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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