Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
