Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
