Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
