wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
