my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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