i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
