My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
