I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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