Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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