And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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