Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
