Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
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