I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just had sex on a roof
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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