if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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