Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
