That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
