He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
