Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
