I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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