I wish I could punch you in the face.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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