Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
