Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
