he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
