do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
