Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
