im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
