Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
