Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
