yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
