Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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