i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
