so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
sex in a hospital.. check
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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