i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
