Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My dick has a subreddit
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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