I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
