I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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