i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize