Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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