I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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