hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We have started to decorate penises.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
