I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
