Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
