We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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