apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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