No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
