So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize