it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
