No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Mom said you looked used
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
