i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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